Joey Armstrong , drummer for the punk band SWMRS and son of Billie Joe , lead singer of Green Day , has been accused of sexual assault by his ex-girlfriend, singer Lydia Night , from the punk band The Regrettes.
The accusations against the musician came to light a day after his band took a stand against abuses that other groups are being accused of and offered support to the victims. According to Lydia, this "unbelievably hypocritical" stance encouraged her to tell her story.
In an Instagram post, Lydia recounts that she began a relationship with Joey when she was 16 and he was 22. She reveals that the drummer always asked her to keep the relationship a secret until she turned 18. Lydia agreed because she felt sexually pressured by him, who always remained "in control of the situation."
Lydia recounted her story in detail, from when they met to conversations they had a few days ago. Joey contacted Lydia through Instagram, inviting the Regrettes to play with SWMRS, a group she was already a fan of. “I realized I was the only member of the band Joey followed, but at the time I didn’t think much of it. He knew I was 16 and he was 22.”
“We had several conversations where he would say things like, ‘I want to do this at your pace’ and ‘I don’t want to have sex until you’re 18,’ but then he would act in completely contradictory ways, pressuring me in sexual situations.”
In the publication, she recounts some details about how Joey took advantage of her and demanded that she do many things she didn't want to do and wasn't comfortable doing, but he didn't care. Joey insisted until she felt she had no other option, she says.
When Lydia realized she was in a toxic relationship, she broke up with him. She was only 18, an age at which Joey would theoretically be comfortable telling his friends and family about the relationship, and she says it became clear he was cheating on her when he changed the "rules" he had dictated throughout the relationship.
“He now said, ‘Let’s not commit to an exact deadline.’ That conversation was truly eye-opening. His timeline and the promise of a ‘real’ relationship were the things that impressed me, but as we got closer to what he would call the finish line, it was clear that this had been nonsense all along. I knew it was over and decided to end it.”
Lydia still struggles with the memories and, as part of the healing process, she sought therapy and even talked to Joey about what happened, but he interrupted her the whole time. "But it seemed like he understood what I was saying later and apologized."
When the band released a statement positioning themselves as feminists and against abuse, Lydia was surprised. A week before that, Joey had sent her a letter, but without mentioning the abuse, the age difference, his position of power, or anything that had happened. Confused, she didn't reply. Soon after the band released the statement, Joey went to confront her, trying to find out what she would do after reading it.
Lydia concludes the post by thanking the people who report abuse and share their stories. "Your strength was the only thing that comforted me and gave me the courage to share this," she wrote. Lydia makes an important point, warning that a consensual relationship can cross the line from healthy to toxic and abusive.
“I recognize my privilege as a white woman with a platform that brings attention to my statement. I want people who are not in my position to know that I stand with you and I hope this can bring some comfort, whether you choose to share your story or not. You matter.”
As of the time of this publication, the drummer has not commented on the matter. UPDATE: The musician released a statement on July 22nd. Click here to read the full statement.
If you identified with Lydia Night's story, or know someone who is going through a similar situation of abuse, seek help. Call the toll-free number 180, the Helpline , talk to your friends, your family, anyone you feel comfortable talking to.