Jesse Leach 's journey with Killswitch Engage hasn't been easy. The vocalist is one of the group's founders, from 1999. Due to depression, an illness he has struggled with since childhood, in 2002 Jesse decided he could no longer stay in the band and chose to leave.
He was replaced by Howard Jones , who remained with Killswitch for ten years until he also left the group due to personal and health problems. It was the perfect time for Jesse's return, and today he has been back with the band for seven years.
During the recording of his latest album, Atonement , Jesse noticed he couldn't reach the notes he used to. Realizing something was wrong, he flew from California to New York to see a doctor. The news: Jesse had a polyp in his throat that needed to be removed.
Not knowing if she would ever be able to speak or sing again, Leach had to cope with fear and the crisis of her psychological illnesses.
With a show in São Paulo scheduled for Saturday the 7th, the vocalist spoke with Wikimetal about the album, his illnesses, and his relationship with former vocalist Howard Jones.
WM – First, let's talk about the album Atonement . What was the process of making the album like?
JL - The process was quite difficult. I went through a personal crisis, vocal cord surgery… It was really challenging. That being said, everything happens for a reason and I'm very happy that the album turned out the way it did. It really captures a moment in time for Killswitch Engage. I wouldn't change a thing.
Do you feel this is a very personal album?
Yes, it's definitely personal. But I've incorporated other people's stories, experiences, things that have happened in the world. I think it's a mix of all those things, not just about me.
You mentioned that you underwent surgery. You had to have nodules removed from your vocal cords, right?
– Yes! They were polyps on my vocal cords. For two or three months I couldn't speak, not knowing from the doctors if I could continue my career. It was a very stressful period not knowing what was happening. But thankfully, the surgery was a success and I was able to tour with Iron Maiden weeks after the operation. I feel better than ever. I feel like I sound better than I've ever sounded in my life. I'm more in control as a vocalist.
You've learned some new techniques as a vocalist, right?
Yes, I had to learn how to build my voice all over again, from scratch. I didn't really understand vocal techniques before, so it was important to understand them now.
It must be very stressful for your voice to be part of a metal band. What precautions are you taking now after the surgery?
"I don't push myself as much now. We all have the capacity to scream and yell. When we're babies, we cry all day and use our voices. It's a technique to relax and go back to how we were as children. The technique I use now is much healthier. That and taking better care of myself. Getting enough sleep, drinking plenty of water, not partying so much, not going to bed so late. I've changed my lifestyle and I'm taking care of myself."
I feel that Atonement is more melodic than its predecessors, but at the same time, more brutal. Do you agree? And how did you achieve that?
– I agree, yes. It happens quite naturally, it's kind of what we do at Killswitch Engage. We've been doing it for so long that it's become our own language. It just happens. If it sounds good and looks good, it's because it is good. [laughs]
Tell us a little about "The Signal Fire," that sensational collaboration with Howard Jones.
– Howard and I became friends a few years ago. He came to one of our shows in Canada, and we became friends very quickly. He started riding on the tour bus with us and showed me his band, Light The Torch, which I really liked. While writing the album, I came up with the idea for a song about “unity” and the image of the “signal fire.” The name Light The Torch influenced me; that image. So we invited him to sing with us. This showed the Killswitch family, that there are no hard feelings between us. It’s important that people know that.
Do you feel that you and Howard have things in common? You both had to leave the band due to personal problems, for example.
– We both had social problems that affected us in the band, so we related in that sense. When I came back to the band, I was very insecure about it; I had to step into his shoes, we didn't even know each other at the time. He was perfect in the band and I had to pick up where he left off. And, in fact, he had the same questions about me when he joined. We have a lot in common, which helped with the music.
You've been dealing with depression for a long time. Do you think music is a tool for coping with the illness?
– I've dealt with depression since childhood, I've created a language for it. Music helps me reach other people with the same problems. It's a therapy that helps in many ways. Music transcends language, it's part of the human experience, it's the soundtrack of our lives.
If you had one piece of advice you'd give to someone going through this, what would it be?
Talk about it, ask for help, don't be afraid and don't stay silent. Don't think you're alone, because you're not.
